I have for long periods wallowed in self pity, stories that I fabricated about myself to myself, about the people around me to myself and to others, engaging myself in lots of negative thinking and complaining. And to make this long story short, I had snapped out of it like so suddenly!
No, I did not snap out of it within seconds or minutes. I got out of it these few moments in life where I felt I was indeed blessed, factually blessed and not imaginative at all. I was in this self pity, complaining, negative, emotional state probably few years back. Although I have never sunk into any medical depression, I was not in a good state of mind. Thank God I wasn’t depressed! Thank God for the people around me that made me who I am now, no regrets because I learnt from all the rights and wrongs. Thank God for mum (especially) who stood by me, even when I was in this deepest agony and afflicted self.
Last night, I was reading this article taken from here (http://www.biblestudytools.com/blogs/association-of-biblical-counselors/5-ways-to-stop-discouragement-from-getting-the-best-of-you.html). It hit me so much because of all that I had went through recently. In December last year, my youngest brother A, so generously sponsored me to attend the Landmark Forum, I am not helping the organisation advertise anything here in my blog. I was really skeptical about this seminar and the work this organisation is doing. But thank God, the 3 days seminar brought some insights which probably, I have never heard it spoken this way to me anywhere else! I could have heard my mum telling me, ‘Girl.. stop complaining, it’s not good for your health.’ or ‘Girl.. stop trying to think this way, it may just be a way of thinking but not exactly true.’ and etc, etc. However, these words just went into my ears and out the next second. Landmark seminar brought me into another realm of possibility in realising those thoughts we sometimes had up in our heads are really just noises. We have to identify what those noises did to us! We could have been subconsciously forming a persistent way of being e.g. complaining non stop about everything anything, and in the process of doing it, there were things taken away from us! We lose all the happiness, joy, self worth, connectedness, trust and many many other things! What I had got out from the seminar was great, what I had got out from life’s lessons days and weeks after the seminar was even awesome!
So while life has been overwhelming me, I have been overwhelmed by the Lord’s blessings day by day. He has blessed me so much that I did not realise what I was getting out of Him. While I have been picking myself up from all the pieces of me after the seminar, I have also been more and more religiously reading up the Bible and through all this, He has open my eyes to see things that I have probably not see it as clearly as before. He has made me realise that what was mention during the seminar was also mentioned in the Bible. Elijah, Jeremiah, Peter and Job were great biblical examples of how we could get discouraged and forgot our dear Lord’s presence in our lives.
I hoped by sharing this here could benefit anyone who is reading this. And may our God bless us as we inch ourselves nearer to Him each day.